A Few Things you Don't Want to Hear your Apprentice Shugenja Say:

1.“Was that paper around on the cage important?”

2.“Want some help?”

3.“Could you come down here? I mean, _now_?”

4. "Hey, Sensei, remember how you keep telling me that I should always look on the bright side of things? Well, you should be happy because today, ONE of your Oni didn’t break free…”

5.“I wonder what does this do…”

6.“Remember that Pennanglan you _had_ imprisoned down in the cellar? Well…”

7.“Oooops…!”

8.“HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!”

9.“You don’t happen to know an “Instant Banishment” spell, do you?… Oh, no reason…”

10.“Uh-ho…”

11.“Did I err?”

12.“But you didn’t tell me I COULDN’T do that!”

13.“Hey, I bet I can do that better than you can!”

14.“Study? I’m too good for that!”

15.“When do I get to make things go BOOOOOOOMM?”

16.“But this was supposed to be foolproof!”

17.“I don’t understand!”

18.“Hey, you do you think you are, my sensei?”

19.“Oh, I threw it away.”

20.“Catch!”

21.“Umm… you might not want to go in the basement…”

22.“Sir, you will be pleased with what I have just done. I have sent all those old and dusty scolls to the recycling centre!”

23.“But Master, I did my best to make you unseen during that meeting of the Daimyos with my spell of Unsight! How would I know it would just affect your kimono?”

24.“Sensei, uh, you know your alchemy lab? How much do you suppose it would cost to get a new one?”

25.“Uhh, Sensei, sorry to disturb your magic scroll writing. You wouldn’t possibly have seen my bottle of invisible ink, would you?

26.(Loudly) “WHAT AN ILLUSION, SENSEI! THE ONI WILL*NEVER* FIGURE THAT OUT!”

27.“I managed to learn the "Levitate" spell, sir. Now, without you looking down, could you tell me how to control it?”

28.“Uhh, sorry for falling asleep, Sensei. Now, could you do that ritual ONE more time?”

29.“Smell something, you say? Nah, there’s no smell of smoke here. No need for you to go into the library either. Heh, heh, heh… I’ll just go there with this bucket of water for, you know, target practice.”

30.“With this body in my possession I shall rule the world!! HAHAHAHAH!!”

31.“Ah, sir? You know that fire elemental you had in your control?”

32.“Sensei, I have an IMPORTANT safety tip for you…”

33.“You do have backup copies of all your scrolls, right?”

34.“Please tell me another. Pllllleaaaase! Oh please, Sensei. I just love your stories. Oh, goodie! Thank you! Wow, that apprentice sounds real funny and… wait, that sounds like something I did. Now, wait a minute, I did the same thing. And the sensei did WHAT to the apprentice? If I was the apprentice I woul…” *bright light floods the room as the apprentice burns*

35.“We have to do this ritual on a full moon?? I go all funny on a fu…*SNARL*…”

36.“I swear, sir, the Daimyo has _nooooo_ sense of humor! When I told him all the jokes you’ve been telling about him, he didn’t laugh at all.”

37.“Oh, THAT scroll! Nope, never saw it.”

38.“It’s just tea. A little soap, some warm water, a clean rag and the scroll will be as good as new!”

39.“No, you go first… I went first last time!”

40.“Please, Sensei, allow me to light your smoking pipe with my "Fire From Within" spell…” *FOOOOMP* “Uh, I’m sure your eyebrows will grow again, sir!”

41.“Sensei, you are gonna laugh when you hear this… I was practicing my "Fire From Within" in the Library, and guess what?!… It worked!!”

42.“EUREKA, SENSEI!! I’ve finally done it! I’ve created Universal Solvent… ‘cept it seems to be eating right through the earth and I don’t know how to neutralize it.”

43.“You _did_ write a will, didn’t you, Sensei?”

44.“Hey, Sensei, listen to what says in this scroll: ‘As you read this Ritual of Garbled Speech, you and all those around you will gradually begome unabelled to gomunigate in da unbestanbable wanblage tan bill bespeak uddel nonblends wabba dabba yabba…”